Thoughts on Children’s Ministry (part 8)

THE STAR

All children, and all people for that matter, have the same basic desires, one of which is to feel wanted and loved. Some children experience very little security and encouragement at home. Their everyday environment is critical and discouraging, both in their schools and in their homes. Having served as both substitute and guest teachers in different classrooms in over a dozen different schools here in Germany, we’ve found that often the students are emotionally bullied and belittled by their teachers so that the teacher can maintain order.

Every child deserves to have at least one adult in their life that adores them unconditionally… one person that lights up when they walk into the room (every time they walk in the room). Since we don’t know if they get this acceptance at home, and they probably don’t get it at school, we have an opportunity to show the love of Jesus in a very simple yet profound way. When a child walks into the children’s church room, make sure that the look on your face is one of delight. They need to hear that you are so glad to see them. They need to hear their name spoken in a loving manner.
For those two hours, they are the star (not you)! Believe me, when you make them the star, you will be amazed at how much they will love you and do anything you ask. They want to feel needed.

Thoughts on Children’s Ministry (part 7)

If redirecting doesn’t work, try taking the child aside later and honestly asking him/her what is going on in his/her life. Make sure that you really “hear” what the child is saying.

If you try everything positive in your arsenal and nothing works, take them to sit next to their parent in the main service (at an appropriate time during your service). Tell the parent that you would like for their child to have the opportunity to experience church with the parent for the next two weeks. Make this as positive of an experience as you can. (If you have to talk with the parents… but ONLY the main children’s pastor or leader should do the talking. Let the parents know the situation in the most positive way that you can. If necessary, wait until after the service to speak with the parents.)

*This may be the only opportunity that these children have to experience Jesus. You don’t know if you’ll ever see the child in one of your services again. There are so many bad experiences that children have to deal with…make sure that you and your team are providing good experiences. You represent Jesus to them. No matter how difficult a child is, you can put up with anything for a couple of hours!

Thoughts on Children’s Ministry (part 6)

So what should you do when you have a disobedient or distracting child? First, distract (redirect) them with something interesting that you are doing. You should have other leaders in the room with you for many reasons. One is that they can refocus the student on the task at hand so you won’t have to stop ministering to the group to correct them. We have also seen teachers that ask questions (pertaining to the teaching) of the student that is causing the distraction as a way of recapturing their attention.

Thoughts on Children’s Ministry (part 5)

DISCIPLINE

Some children’s ministers and leaders (I don’t like the word “workers” here because they are so much more than that) are overly concerned about discipline. Because children are… well… children, there will be times that they need to be corrected. But there are quite a few constructive ways of accomplishing this.

You should always avoid calling out a child in front of the other children for discipline reasons. This is extremely embarrassing for them. To me, it seems strange to even have to mention this, but we’ve seen this disturbing scene played out over and over again in children’s ministries.

Thoughts on Children’s Ministry (part 4)

ATTENTION SPAN

The more you keep the attention of the children, the less you will have to correct them. Please remember this important rule: children only have the attention span of their age plus one. That means if you are working with 8 year olds, you only have their attention for 9 minutes, then you should go on to something else. This means you need to teach toward the attention span of the youngest ones in the class.

For example: If you usually have 20 minutes of music and you are ministering to 10 year olds, you should break up the music into two different times of 10 minutes each. You could possibly teach in between for 10 minutes and then go back into the music. It is not necessary or advantageous to make children sit there and listen to a teaching time for 30 minutes. You usually lose them after the first 10 minutes. If you are very creative (using props, songs, drama, puppets) then you may be able to extend the attention span time by a minute or two. But as a rule, 20 minutes is the most that you should do any segment of a children’s service.

Thoughts on Children’s Ministry (part 3)

FACILITATOR

This is one of the most important parts of children’s ministry. When a child comes in the door, whether they are new or already established there, he/she needs to be greeted and walked over to the first activity/activities. The facilitator’s job is to ensure that all the kids are engaged and involved. If they see a child standing by his- or herself and only watching, they should encourage him/her to get involved (if necessary, taking him/her to one of the activities and helping him/her integrate into the group).

The child will determine whether they enjoy your ministry in the first minute or so of walking in that door! If you make a bad first impression, it may take the entire service to win them back…if they can be won back at all at that point. And if they don’t want to return, their parents probably won’t either.

Thoughts on Children’s Ministry (part 2)

THE ROLE OF GREETERS

The first person that you will meet at any children’s ministry is the one standing at the door. Hence, if you don’t have a children’s “greeter”, get one! Maybe more importantly, the one who greets at the main entrance of the church should physically walk the newcomers to the children’s ministry greeter. Then, the children’s ministry greeter must “actively” engage the child and the parent (with a conversation, handshake, smile, etc.).

A simple example is, “Hello my name is Robin, what’s your name?” Once you hear the child’s name, say it back to him/her at least twice. “Hi, Amanda, I’m glad to meet you. Amanda, do you go to school near here?” Then, introduce Amanda to at least two other people while you tell them something about her. “This is Amanda, she goes to Roberts School”. This helps you and the others to learn his/her name, and it allows them to hear their name spoken in a loving manner. You can never go wrong asking questions (people generally love to talk about themselves).