What if things don't work out like you planned? (a leadership thought)

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"Blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me.”- Jesus in Luke 7:23

Click here to read the context in Luke 7:18-23

As you'll recall, John the Baptist's God-given mission was to introduce Jesus to the masses. (see John 1:29-34)  And he had proven himself to be a healthy leader by leveraging his influence to help someone else (Jesus) succeed.  People began to follow Jesus instead of John, which was all a part of the plan. (see John 3:30)

But at this point in the story John the Baptist had been left to rot in Herod's dungeon.  He had fallen from being the famous "prophetic voice in the desert" into obscurity.  Now he was languishing in prison because of his fiery rhetoric. (see Luke 3:19-20)  And aside from a few disciples, no one seemed to care.  I can definitely understand the fact that John felt a bit abandoned and forgotten... and probably even disappointed and disillusioned.

So He sent His disciples to confirm that Jesus was who he (John) had claimed.  After all, this wasn't the way a man of God should end his days.  Maybe he thought he and Jesus would be able to hang out together.  Maybe he expected a little more respect as the first one to truly affirm who Jesus really was. It could be that he thought he would die in peace since he had fulfilled his purpose. Whatever the case may be, we find him questioning whether he had missed God's will or not. 

Notice that Jesus wasn't offended by John's question.  Isn't it encouraging to know that God's not afraid of your questions?  In fact, Jesus gave demonstrative proof (according to Isaiah 61:1-2) that He was exactly who John initially claimed He was.  Now John would be able to die in peace, knowing he'd had a part in God's Master Plan.

Pastors: Are you questioning your call?  Have things not worked out like you planned, or as you prayed they would?  Have you not seen the growth or influence you expected to have?  Does it seem that God has forgotten you?  You need to know that God is not finished with you until you are dead.

Tweet This: God's not finished with you until you're dead!

After John's disciples left Jesus spoke to the crowd about him. (Luke 7:24-28)  Here we can see Jesus' high degree of respect for him.  He tells the crowd that John is the greatest man to live up to that time.  Why is this?  It's because John had completed the work that God had called him to do.  He'd had a part in turning a nation to repentance and connecting them to their Messiah.  I don't believe it was the scope of God's call upon John the Baptist that got Jesus' attention.  It was his absolute obedience to it, even though it meant he would fade into obscurity after his time in the spotlight was finished.  John must have felt like a failure.  But Jesus said he was a great man of God.

Let me encourage you today: Don't throw in the towel.  Keep moving forward.  God has a HUGE plan for you.  And as long as you're breathing He's not finished with you yet.  Unfortunately here on this earth we can't see from God's eternal perspective.  But when we get to heaven it will have all been worth it - every moment of sacrifice, every sleepless night of prayer, every time we kept going when we wanted to quit.  God revealed Himself to a runaway slave as "the God who sees." (see Genesis 16:13)  He hasn't changed!

What words would you have to spiritual leaders that are thinking of quitting?  Join the discussion below.

Facing Reality

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Reality - what a painful word for leaders.  It refers to the status quo we live in.  It speaks of the circumstances we are currently experiencing - the inconvenient truth we probably aren't happy with.

A good friend of mine worked at a large church in the Midwest a number of years ago.  This church had been plateaued for awhile, and was starting to head into decline.  So they made a smart decision: they brought in an outside church consultant.  This brings in a fresh set of eyes and removes the emotion from decision-making.  A consultant has nothing to lose by being honest.  He/she can talk about "the elephant in the room" without fear of consequences.

This church hired a very well-known church consultant to identify problem areas so they could make the appropriate adjustments.  They paid a good sum of money for him to analyze everything they did and define their current reality.

The Coming Post-Christian Tsunami

Coming soon to online retailers...

The Competition

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Leaders are often competitive.  It's one of the things that drives us to build strong, innovative organizations.  It enables us to persevere through difficult situations without giving up.

But there is also a darker side... one that will destroy everything that God desires to build through us.  We end up eyeing everyone that is succeeding around us as "the competition."  Anytime we do this we reduce them from human beings created in God's image (Genesis 1:27) to rivals needing to be conquered.  And we forfeit the ability to work together to tackle big-picture problems.

Core Values Must Be Modeled

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As Jesus was having a meal in Levi’s home, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with Jesus and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. - Mark 2:15

Jesus took His disciples along to dinner at Levi's (Matthew's) house. He modeled for them the kind of people He chose to spend time with. The disciples saw the criticism Jesus got from the religious leaders for hanging with "tax collectors and sinners." But they also saw His heart to connect with people that were far from God.

Spiritual leaders have to model the core values they wish to pass on to those they lead. It's not enough to simply talk about them or teach about them. We must embody them if we want them to be embraced by our team/church. I heard Pastor Rob Ketterling say, "If the unchurched are going to have a voice in my church it MUST be mine." Exactly!

I Lost A Student Today

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We were told last night that a young man from one of our past youth groups ended his own life last week.  He was a sharp college student in California with a promising basketball career.   When we were his youth pastors he was just beginning high school.

It hit Robin and I quite hard.  Our hearts go out to his family.  His parents were very loving and supportive, as were his siblings.  We have been praying for them a lot since we learned of the tragedy.

While we will never know just what he was truly struggling with, we do know that he was loved everywhere he went.  He was respectful, courteous and kind.  When we knew him he had a deep love for God, even though he was fairly shy.  Apparently he came out of his shell as he grew older.

It got me to thinking... youth pastors only have a few years with the students God sends them.  These students have real hopes and dreams, and have been created by God for a significant purpose.  Unfortunately they also bear all-too-real hurts, disappointments and pain.  Many carry hidden scars.

Sadly we sometimes get too busy to notice that the people around us are hurting.  When I was a youth pastor at a megachurch I was often so busy preparing to minister to students that I missed God-given opportunities to connect with them.  What's really dumb about this is that these same students were the very reason I was there in the first place.  How crazy is it to be too busy getting ready to invest in students, only to miss the face to face opportunity to do so?!?!

Are you building a monument or scrawling graffiti?

Crusader graffiti on the wall of the Dover Castle Saxon Church (Image credit: John Dahl)

Before moving back to the USA our family was able to do one final European road trip.  We took the ferry from Calais, France to Dover, England, and spent the night there.  The next day we toured the Dover Castle.  It was awesome!  On the walls of the castle church we saw some Crusader graffiti scrawled into the church wall.  These men wanted to leave some sort of mark on the world before heading out into battle.

It got me thinking about our mortality.  We are not guaranteed our next breath.  No one knows what is ahead.  Before we depart we want to leave some sort of legacy that will live on after we’re gone. We only have a few short years in which to impact our world, hopefully for the better.

Some men build grandiose monuments to show how important and impressive they were.  Others scrawl graffiti over those monuments, as a small way of leaving something behind.  This graffiti “shortcut” leaves people more disgusted than impressed.  In our digital world graffiti looks more like online criticism in blog posts and articles.  It has always been easier to deface what someone else has done than to build something that matters.

Men and women of honor build something significant.  Small minded men and women seek to tear it down.  But great men and women realize that the way to leave behind a true legacy is to invest your life into serving others and empowering them to succeed.  Let's invest in the next generation of leaders while we still have time.

We Are Visitors (series)

When we first moved to southwestern Germany in 2007 we felt as if our season as associate pastors had come to an end.  We began to coach and mentor pastors and church leadership teams across Western Europe.  We also had to find a church for our family to attend.  It was our first time in over 20 years that we were visiting churches (over 20 of them) in order to choose one as our spiritual home.  We were looking at churches from a consumer's point of view - as outsiders rather than insiders.  This was truly an eye-opening experience!

While visiting these churches we noticed some areas (that were unfortunately fairly consistent in the churches we visited) that could definitely deter a visitor from returning.  This following blog series shares some of our thoughts about this.

We Are Visitors - part 1
We Are Visitors - part 2

We Are Visitors - part 3
We Are Visitors - part 4
We Are Visitors - part 5
We Are Visitors - part 6
We Are Visitors - part 7
We Are Visitors - part 8
We Are Visitors - part 9
We Are Visitors - part 10
We Are Visitors - part 11

Something out of nothing

Image Credit: T.Magic

This past Sunday I had the privilege of spending some time with a team that will be launching their church in two weeks.  The pastor asked me to share from my heart so I gave them something that God spoke to my heart when we were getting ready to launch our church.

God is the Creator.  His creativity knows no bounds.  And He lives in us, which means His creativity lives in us.

Church planters represent the creative heart of God.  They literally create something out of nothing, just like He did.  They build something that gives life to people, just like the world He created.  They bring order to chaos just as He did when He took a world that was . (In Gen. 1 God brought a world from being formless and void to the wonderful place we know today.)  They bring light to the world, just like He did.

God brings together a team together.  They unite around a common purpose.  And together they do something significant – the plant a life-giving church!

Book Review: "Take the Lid Off Your Church" by Tony Morgan

I just finished Tony Morgan's new eBook "Take the Lid Off Your Church - 6 Steps to Building a Healthy Leadership Team". What a short, but great read!

One of his opening statements sums the premise of this book up perfectly: “The people who hold the senior leadership positions of your church are the only chance your church has to achieve the vision and mission God designed your church to accomplish at this moment in time.”  In other words, our call is much bigger than us.  And for us to accomplish God’s mission for our lives (and our churches), we have to equip and empower others to lead.

This book is designed as a springboard for conversation.  For those that are looking for easy answers to take your church to the next level, It's not the book for you.   It is best used as a tool for self-examination.   It will help you ask tough questions… both of yourself and of your team. But the long-term results are well worth the short-term discomfort.

I will definitely be taking my senior leadership team through this book and looking at adjustments we need to make so we can more quickly and efficiently pursue God’s mission for our church.  I suggest you do the same!

Church planting blog...

For those that aren't aware of it, Robin and I also have a Church Planting Blog from our experiences with Watermark (http://watermarkfreiburg.de).  It contains our thoughts and experiences on leadership, and our struggles and successes as we went about planting our church.  You can check it out here: http://watermarkfreiburg.blogspot.com

Seeking Closure

Those that have been involved in abusive relationships (whether physical, emotional or spiritual) often  have a lot of emotional baggage.  And many that have "survived" try to find some sort of closure.  It's a normal part of the grieving process.  Unfortunately, that's not always possible. 

Here's my story...

Early on in ministry I worked for a manipulative, controlling person.  This person "dispensed and withdrew acceptance" (to quote from Robert S. McGee's excellent book, The Search for Significance) as a way of controlling people.  If a person did what he wanted, he/she was lavished with love and acceptance... sometimes, even with praise, especially early on in the relationship.  But if he/she didn't do as expected, desired, etc, this minister made sure everyone knew that he was displeased, and the person was excluded from the "inner circle."

This minister even made it a point to use sermon illustrations that those in the inner circle knew were obviously directed at the "offender", but everyone else listening to the message would have no clue about.  He would make fun of them, talk demeaningly about them or gossip about them to other inner circle people, but never to the offender him-/herself.  But he made sure the offender found out about what was said.  And everyone else was afraid to cross this minister, for fear of being the target of his aggression.

Unfortunately, at one point Robin and I became the offenders.  We were instantly ousted from the inner circle.  It got to the point that when Robin would go up to talk with this minister's wife in public, she would literally turn her back on Robin and continue the conversation.  Childish, no?

Honestly, this is really nothing more than a spiritual version of the playground bully, using fear and intimidation as a weapon.

Thankfully, we moved on and took another ministry position and experienced what a healthy church looks like.

Over the years that followed, I tried to get closure by sending notes and emails.  I thanked this person for giving me a start in ministry, for taking a chance on me, etc.  No reply... nada, nothing, zilch.  I even tried going through the one friend I still had on staff in that organization to confirm that this minister received my message.  Still nothing.

Eventually my friend invited me to be a guest speaker at one of his youth services.  I expected this minister to come over afterward and at least say the obligatory hello.  Didn't happen.  He sent one of his inner circle people to relay the message that he and his wife were tired and wouldn't be coming

All I wanted was for him to acknowledge that I was okay... that I had done well for myself.  I didn't need an apology... just an acknowledgement that I existed.  It never happened.

Finally I understood what Robin had been telling me all along: I was seeking something I was never going to get.  The problem is that when you're dealing with manipulative, controlling and abusive people, you'll never get this closure you're looking for.  This is a way they can continue to punish you for not remaining in the abusive relationship.  And as long as you keep trying to find peace with this person, it remains a codependent relationship.

Sometimes the abusive person is so selfish it's as if they're not capable of give you the closure you so desire.  I'm not excusing what's been done to you... just trying to provide some perspective.

Continuing to seek closure from an abuser will cause you needless stress, heartache and pain... sometimes even health problems.  You are continuing to lay yourself out as a doormat for them to wipe their feet on.  It's as if you're giving them the remote control to your happiness.  I never want to give someone else that much control over my well-being.

I recently spoke with a friend that is dealing with this very thing.  This is what I told her:

Please understand that we want the best for you. But in order for you to go on mentally, emotionally and spiritually, you're going to have to let this go. You're seeking something that you're not going to get. I learned this the hard way myself. 

You don't need this person's approval/connection/whatever to live a happy, healthy life. If you want closure, you'll need to create that yourself.

If it's bothering you this much, maybe you should create some type of ceremony and officially let this go.  Maybe you could write what you feel on a piece of paper and then burn it as a way of offering it up to God. Then anytime those feelings about this come back, say, "No, I won't let those feelings control me anymore. I gave this over to God already."

I hope this post helps you in some way process some baggage you may have accumulated over the years.  I'd be interested in your comments.

A letter to beginning missionaries

Robin wrote the following letter to some friends that were getting ready to move to Russia to work with orphans.  I believe it is good advice to anyone planning to go to the mission field! - Jon

I am so glad that you are obeying God and taking this challenge.  We are praying for you and your children! I was thinking about what I wished other people would have told me before I left for the mission field and what advice I did receive that has helped over the years.

The first part of this journey is all so quick and exciting that even the frustrating parts are fun.  It’s amazing to watch the children learn and adapt to their new environment.  Learn from them.  They are watching you to see if this new place is okay.  As I read about others’ experiences on the field, I am so convinced that the difference between a bad and good experience for the children is the attitude of the parents. 

I think one of my biggest challenges is to keep positive about the cultural differences that bug me.  Patsy Cameneti once told me that if we talk about all the things that we don’t like about the mission field…it frustrates the grace of God on our lives.

I am so proud to be an American.  There are so many freedoms that you will give up to serve in another country.  Many Europeans that I have met long to live in America.  Even if they don’t really understand the politics …they understand that America equates with freedom.  Because of that, many will be excited to get to know you.  They want to know more about you and God will use this as an opportunity to lead them to Him.  On the other hand, some people will not like you just because you are an outsider.  Their long time prejudices will come out in strange and hurtful ways.  This is an even greater chance to show the love of God.  Your neighbors will be watching you.  (When we meet people in our village, they usually tell us what they know about our family.)

Remember the call of God.  Write down what He is telling you to do.  When the times get tough…and they will…you can look at what God said and it will keep you there.  There are some extremely lonely times on the mission field.  Times where you are in the middle of many people and feel really alone.  I remember a time when I was at a hardware store and couldn’t figure out how to ask for a concrete screw so I could hang a picture on the wall.  I just started crying in the middle of the aisle.  Then, I had a good laugh. Many times it was frustrating just trying to decipher the bills and the kids homework.  But, they all add up to a wonderful and challenging experience that I wish everyone could have.

No matter where you are on the earth, in God’s will is the safest place to be.  With the political uncertainties that are going on in Russia right now, it’s important to know that God is in control.  We came over here two weeks after 9/11 and things were very uncertain.  But, when we got here we knew that this was the right place. 

One of my concerns before we moved to Germany was that maybe this wasn’t God’s will after all.  Maybe all this trouble was a big mistake.  Deep inside you really know, but there will be questions here and there.  Brother Hagin always said that it’s possible to have faith in your heart and doubts in your head.  But I think it’s better to go ahead and follow what you think is God’s will and fail… than to never try. 

Some people think that it is really too big of a step to take a family overseas to live.  But, that’s why it is so rewarding to do what we do.  We took a leap of faith and now are able to watch God work in ways that we never would have known.  I think in many ways that it is really more of a leap of faith to NOT follow the will of God. With Him, you know that it will all work out. 

Just do what you were doing there in Texas… in another country. 

Many blessings,

Robin

PS. Freetranslation.com is a God-send :-)

New Watermark Freiburg (Church Planting) Blog

New Watermark Freiburg (Church Planting Blog): "Thoughts about Church Planting and Church Government" - http://bit.ly/oz8EWJ

Daily Downloads

My mother's sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I have neglected. 

http://bible.us/Song1.6.NIV84

I find it interesting that here in the middle of a love song is an amazing leadership truth.  Those that minister to others can find themselves guilty of this verse... taking care of the needs of others while neglecting themselves and their needs.

We have to intentionally spend time with God for ourselves... downloading His heart and passion on a daily basis.  If not, we'll never finish God's mission for our lives.  There is an entire world out there counting on us to get it right!

The value of staying put

Over the past few weeks Robin and I have had a few conversations with people that are basically bailing out in the face of circumstances.  Some of them aren't even facing what we would consider major trials.  But each of these individuals is seriously considering quitting, or taking the easy way out.

Robin and I do understand that hard times come... sometimes it's more like hard seasons.  Been there... done that!

But at the same time, we can't afford to just quit because times are tough.  There are incredible benefits to seeing something through to the end.  Persistence pays off!

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
1 Peter 5:10

Notice what it says... AFTER you have suffered a little while you'll end up strong, firm and steadfast.  Another translation says you'll be, "established and settled."  I believe this is why we have so many people that are unsettled in the face of trials and troubles.  They've never stuck it through to the end.

Look at what Paul told Timothy...

As I urged you when I went into Macedonia, stay there in Ephesus...
1 Timothy 1:3

Paul wanted Timothy to stay there so he could straighten out problems that the Ephesians were dealing with.  But notice that the basic instruction is still the same: stay put!  Why?  Because it's so much easier to leave when things aren't going as we had thought/hoped/dreamed they would.  We seem to think a change of scenery will make the problem go away.  On the contrary, if we run from a problem, we'll see it again... different faces and situations, but the same old problem.

If we'll just stay the course and see it through to the end, we'll come out the other side stronger, established and settled. The Book of Hebrews tells us that it's by faith and PATIENCE that we inherit what God has promised us. This leads me to believe that if we're not patient, we won't see the full realization of God's dream for us and our lives.

God wants us to not just be good starters, but good finishers. Bill Hybels said recently, “How you finish is how you will always be remembered. Don’t end it with a whimper.” Let's be known as those that finish well!

When it's too late...

Sometimes because of our decisions we miss out on God's best for us. It's not that He doesn't want to bless us... It's just that the window for that particular opportunity has closed.

What God calls us to do always requires faith (Hebrews 11:6).  And when we respond in disobedience instead of faith, we don't get to see the results that obedience would have produced.

Read Numbers 14:39-45

In this passage, the Israelites disobeyed.  Then they decide to make up for lost time, and obey God "after the fact", even though He told them it was too late to see the blessing for obedience. The results were disastrous!

I was supposed to go on a mission trip between my first and second years of Bible school. I didn't go (read: disobeyed), then asked God for forgiveness.

He forgave me, but every time I would talk with God about what I should have learned there or what connections I should have made there, He was silent. One time I felt Him speak in my heart that I would never get to know what I missed until I got to heaven. That blessing only comes with obedience.

Had I obeyed, maybe I would have discovered years earlier that I was called to be a missionary and a lead pastor. I could have been better prepared for what God had called me to.

Who knows what would be different today?  I just know that I don't want to make the same mistake again! Let's be like Caleb and obey the first time (Numbers 14:24)... And obey immediately!

Write it out yourself!

Deuteronomy 17:18 NCV

Here God commands the Israelite kings to write out a copy of His teachings for themselves.  I wonder how many of the kings actually did it.  It would have been much easier to have someone else do it... or just not do it at all.

This is yet another practical way that God gives us to help keep our hearts close to Him: take a verse or passage of Scripture that means something to you and write it down.  Then keep it with you and look at it throughout the day.

Or you could do what my wife did... she just wrote it out and taped it to her mirror.  One time she even wrote "NO COMPROMISE" on her bathroom mirror in lipstick.

Whatever it takes, we have to get these principles down into our hearts so we can serve God and live the life He has planned for us.

Changed little lives

At Watermark we are highly focused on children’s ministry.  They will get high quality resources and leaders. When it comes to a choice between buying something for our kids and buying sound equipment, we always default to purchasing stuff for our kids.  This is paying off richly!!!  In the past six weeks, three kids have come to Christ!

One of them is a high-energy little guy… a happy go lucky, fun little dude named Alex.  But sometimes he is also an EGR child (Extra Grace Required).  He and his little sister live across the street from the church building, and their mom and dad take turns coming with them… sometimes the children even come by themselves.

One afternoon as Robin was praying for Alex, God showed her a glimpse of what his life could look like.  She pictured him as an adult and what he would tell someone about how he came to Christ.  

She pictured him as a young adult telling about this church that started across the street from where he lived.  He said, “I don’t even remember anyone’s name there, but that’s where people loved me and were happy to see me!  I gave my heart to Christ and I’ve never been the same since!”

Actually, last Sunday, Alex did give his heart to Christ!  And his sister did so the week before.

Sabbath Rest for Pastors

New Watermark Freiburg Blog -“A Sabbath Rest For Pastors”.  Check it out at http://bit.ly/aNBqyR.